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What
Missionaries Ought to Know About ...
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What Missionaries Ought to Know about Thankfulness
By Dr. Ronald Koteskey
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this brochure as a pdf
It is one of those days! When you leave the house in a hurry, your car
will not start. After a crowded bus ride one of your colleagues meets you at
the door to the building and tells you how one of the nationals has been
lying about you. When you open your door, the office is a mess because
someone had broken in during the night and trashed it looking for valuables
that were not there. A few minutes later your spouse calls to say that two
of your kids just woke up with high fevers.
Looking for some sympathy and encouragement, you approached a friend and
began to tell what had happened. Before you could finish, your friend said:
“Remember that Paul, an early missionary, wrote to the people in one of his
churches, ‘Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you
in Christ Jesus.’” When you protested that Paul could not have really meant
that, you friend pointed out that earlier in the sentence Paul said, “Be
joyful always” (1 Thessalonians 1:16-18).
You began to ask questions. Why be thankful? What if I don’t feel like I
have anything to be thankful for? Whom do I thank? What else does the Bible
say? Let us consider these questions and more.
Why be thankful?
Of course, one answer to that question is that the Bible says to.
However, in recent years Robert Emmons, one of the leading scholars in
positive psychology, and his colleagues have studied the effect of gratitude
on individuals. They have found that gratitude, wanting what you have, can
measurably change people’s lives for the better. Thankful people have the
following characteristics.
- More alert and enthusiastic
- More determined and attentive
- More energetic and optimistic
- More progress toward goals
- More exercise and better sleep
- More forgiving and helpful to others
- Higher immune response/less illness
- Closer family ties
- Less stress and envy
- Less resentment and greed
- Less bitterness and depression
What does the Bible say?
The Bible has dozens of references to thankfulness, often several in a
single chapter.
- “…give thanks to the Lord…” (Psalm 107:1, 8, 15, 21, 31).
- “…give thanks to the Lord…” (Psalm 118:1, 19, 29).
- “…give you (God) thanks…” (Psalm 118: 21, 28).
- “…give thanks to the Lord…” (Psalm 136:1, 3).
- “…give thanks to the God of…” (Psalm 136:2, 26).
Since Paul was a missionary, what did he say in addition to telling
people to give thanks in all circumstances? He was most often thankful for
the nationals, even though they were far from perfect.
- For the Thessalonians (1 Thessalonians 1:2): “We always thank God
for all of you.”
- For the Philippians (1:3): “I thank my God every time I remember
you.”
- For the Colossians (1:3): “We always thank God…when we pray for
you.”
- For the Ephesians (1:16): “I have not stopped giving thanks for
you.”
- Even for the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 1:4): “I always thank God
for you.”
What does it mean to be thankful?
Being thankful means much more than children writing obligatory thank-you
notes to Grandma for their birthday presents because their mothers insisted
(Grandma may not give such a nice one next year). It is also more than the
warm feelings one has upon receiving a gift.
When people are grateful, they recognize that the benefit they received
was not earned or deserved; it was given freely by someone out of love or
compassion. The word “gratitude” comes from the Latin gratus, from which we
also get the theological term “grace.” When people say that they have
received something by the grace of God, they know that they did nothing to
deserve it, that it was given out of God’s love and care for them. The same
is true when people give.
Unfortunately, most people have high expectations and take things for
granted. When something good happens, they tend to assume they are
responsible for it, that they earned it or at least deserved it because of
who they are or what they have done.
Gratitude researchers point out that being thankful involves recognition
and acknowledgment.
- Recognition. This means that people must literally
re-cognize, that is, think differently about something. For example,
they may have resented something that caused suffering, but they
re-cognize the adversity to see that it resulted in growth that would
have not been possible any other way.
- Acknowledgement. In addition to thinking about
adversity differently, people must accept the good in their lives and
affirm that there are good and enjoyable things in the world. They must
have the humility to agree that they did nothing to earn or deserve the
good that has come their way. Someone has purposely been kind to them,
and that kindness has really helped them.
For example, losing jobs may force people into new vocations that are
wonderful opportunities, but they have to recognize that fact to be
thankful, to realize that they have received a benefit. Illnesses may
prevent people from accomplishing some things but may also push them into
other pursuits that are much better.
What if I feel like I have nothing to be thankful for?
This is a question most often asked by people who live in affluence. They
are people who fail to see the splendor of the rainbows through the rain or
the beauty of the “weeds” in their lawns.
This “poverty of affluence” results from two things. First, people adapt
to a culture of plenty, and then they need more to make them feel
“thankful.” Of course, soon after they get “more,” they want even more.
Second, people tend to compare themselves with neighbors who have even more.
This comparison makes them feel like they have so little there is nothing to
be thankful for. Again as soon as they get what one neighbor has, they
compare themselves to a different neighbor, and they are again dissatisfied.
People who are alive and have basic needs met have much to be thankful
for. They just need to re-cognize and acknowledge their situation
What can I do?
People cannot conjure up true gratitude at a moment’s notice. No one can
try to be grateful and through willpower make it happen. An old saying
states that “happiness pursued, eludes.” However, people can develop habits
that, over time, will result in the disposition of thankfulness.
The old hymn, “Count Your Blessings,” is the answer. It says that when
you are discouraged, in conflict, burdened, and see how much others have,
you should “Count your blessings, name them one by one; count your many
blessings, see what God has done.” Here are some proven effective ways to do
that.
Keep a gratitude journal. Each day actually write down the gifts, grace,
and good things you enjoy. There is no need to worry about spelling or
punctuation or have a fancy journal. Actually writing them down is far more
effective than just thinking about them.
- Thank God. The Bible is filled with prayers of
thanksgiving in the Psalms and other places that you can pray to God
yourself. Churches have ritual prayers of gratitude you may want to
memorize. Conversational spontaneous prayers are also effective.
- Use your senses. Take time to attend to what you
see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. Odors often take you back to earlier
good times. Songs bring back memories. Other sensations do the same.
- Take a walk of thanks. Walk through your
neighborhood, your house, your school, or your church. What you see,
hear, and smell will bring back memories.
- Watch your language. Depressed people often engage
in negative self-talk. Thankful people engage in positive self-talk. You
can change your attitude by changing what you say to yourself.
- Do something for others. When you do things that
benefit others (for which they are grateful), you will find that you
will become grateful yourself. Doing something for those who do not like
us is particularly effective.
- Thank others. Gratitude is not just thoughts and
emotions; it is actions as well. Verbally thank someone. Write a letter
of thanks. Send an email of thanks.
- Make a gratitude visit. Deliver your letter of
thanks in person rather than sending it through the mail.
- Make a gratitude phone call.
In all circumstances?
Paul actually lived what he wrote. In his letter to the Philippians the
words joy and rejoice occur fourteen times in the four chapters. He wrote
that letter from prison while awaiting a trial which could result in his
death.
From his cell Paul wrote, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is
to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the
secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or
hungry, whether living in plenty or in want
(Philippians 4:11-12).
Ronald Koteskey is
Member Care Consultant
GO International
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