| Author: |
Williams, K.
|
| Title: |
Resolving conflicts in Christian marriage. |
|
Helping missionaries grow: Readings in mental health and missions (pp. 211-218). |
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| Editor: |
K. S. O'Donnell & M. L. O'Donnell (Eds.), |
| Pub.
Data: |
Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library.
1988 |
| Pub.
Type: |
Chapter
8
pages |
| Summary: |
An outstanding article giving five commitments, ten ground rules, three pre-confrontation principles, and eight steps to resolve conflict. It is specifically for conflict in marriage, but is applicable to all kinds of conflict. Does not tell what to do if conflict is not resolved. Much use of scripture throughout article. |
| Gems: |
Couples who have few or no conflicts risk losing their intimacy as time goes by.
Since you are one in Christ, you both lose or win.
Feelings are like cement. They begin to harden quickly. You can't always handle a situation immediately, but agree together to bring things up the same day if possible. |
| Outline: |
Three Helpful Concepts
Conflict in marriage is inevitable
Conflict can be a sign of a good marriage
Unresolved conflicts can destroy your marriage
Five Vital Commitments
Commitment to Jesus as Lord
Commitment to one another in life-long relationship
Commitment to love one another with Christ-like love
Commitment to honesty in love
Commitment to "let's win together"
Ten Ground Rules
Deal with conflicts quickly
Keep to one issue
Use "I" messages
Avoid attacks on your partner's character
Avoid mind reading
Avoid prophesying
Keep emotional expression appropriate
Do not counter-attack
Don't try to win
Establish and observe belt-lines
Three Pre-confrontation Principles
Pray first
Give up all desire for revenge
Avoid dumping your problem on other people
Eight Steps to Resolve Conflict
You have a problem and take it to God
Bring up the issue with your partner
Explain your problem
Propose a tentative solution
Your partner responds
Take an intermission
Ask for and grant forgiveness
Review the situation |
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See other articles by this author |
